ESSAY 17

SORU:

Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Bazı insanlar boş vakitlerini dışarda geçirmeyi tercih ederler. Diğerleri evde (kapalı mekanlarda) geçirmeyi tercih eder. Hangisini tercih ederdiniz? Spesifik sebepler ve örnekler kullanarak cevabınızı açıklayınız.

Whether to be outside or inside for leisure activities is an interesting question. As far as social activities are concerned, I prefere to be outside. In my opinion, people should be outside for leisure activities. There are three main reasons why.

One reason why I choose to be outside is that an individual socialize outside. If a person is outside, he can meet with new people. To communicate with others is crucial to socialize. People cannot do it in house while they are watching TV or sitting on the seat. When they recognize new people, they are never bored. Moreover, they can go new restaurants, cafes or different spaces.

Another reason is that people can improve themself in terms of culture by going to essential places. These places can be cinemas, museums, exhibitions, art galleries. They should visit these cultural places to learn something. Other than this, these places provide job opportunities for people. To illustrate, I used to go to these every week. I learned rather necessary informations about art. After I started to work at “IKSV” with some money When I earned money, I was improving myself with enthusiasm. I believe that everybody do this simple job outside.

Finally, social relationships get strong by going out. Social relationships are necessary to live because people cannot live with others. If they don’t go out, they lost their friends. Friends are quite vital in people life. People should keep in touch with them since everybody need a friend. I want to give an example in my life. To exemplify, I have got many friends. When I have a trouble, I explain them and I relax. If I don’t go out when they call me, I lost them.

To sum up, I would choose to be outside because sociability, cultural activities and friendships are essential for me. People can be social in the streets, not homes. People should be outside to not be alone

DEĞERLENDİRME:

Whether to be outside or inside for leisure activities is an interesting question. As far as social activities are concerned, I prefere (prefer) to be outside. In my opinion, people should be outside for leisure activities. There are three main reasons why (activitiesfor three main reasons).

One reason why I choose to be outside is that an individual socializes outside. If a person is outside, he can meet with new people. To communicate (Communicating) with others is crucial to socialize. People cannot do it in their house while they are watching TV or sitting on the seat (sofa?). When they recognize new people, they are never bored. Moreover, they can go to new restaurants, cafes or different spaces (places).

Another reason is that people can improve themself (themselves) in terms of culture by going to essential places. These places can be cinemas, museums, exhibitions, and/or art galleries. They should visit these cultural places to learn something (cümlelerini kurarken açıklama yapmak, örnek vermek veya sebep vermek için hiçbir fırsatı kaçırma. Something demek yerine ne olduğunu söylemen gerekir. Zaten essay soruları “give specific examples, explain with details” gibi ifadelerle tam bu noktalarda açıklama yapmanızı örnek vermenizi istemektedir) . Other than this (In addition, / Besides, / In addition to this,), these places provide job opportunities for people. To illustrate, I used to go to these (genel ifadeye örnek verdiğinde daha spesific olman gerekir. Bu yerler yerine exhibitions diyebilirsin) every week. I learned rather necessary informations (information sayılamaz) about art. After I started towork atIKSV” (böyle durumlarda okuyan kişinin bileceğini varsaymaman gerekir : IKSV, which is … gibi bir açıklama yapman gerekir) with some money When I earned money, I was improving myself with enthusiasm. I believe that everybody do (should do) this simple job outside. (Bağlaç özellikleri için SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS konusuna çalışman lazım)

Finally, social relationships get strong by going out. Social relationships are necessary to live because people cannot live with others. If they don’t (do not) go out, they lost (lose) their friends. Friends are quite vital in people life. People should keep in touch with them since everybody needs a friend. I want to give an example in my life (In my experience, ifadesini kullanabilirsin ama buradaki cümle gereksiz çünkü bir sonraki cümlede to exemplify demişsin). To exemplify, I have got many friends. When I have a trouble, I explain them and I relax. If I don’t (do not) go out when they call me, I lost (lose) them (Bu cümlenin aynısını daha önce kurmuşsun. İnsanlar arkadaşlarını kaybederler dedikten sonra örneğin ben arkadaşlarımı kaybederim dediğinde örnek vermiş olmazsın. Daha spesifik olman lazım. Verdiğin örneğin fikre bir şey katması ve açıklayıcı olması gerekir).

To sum up, I would choose to be outside because sociability, cultural activities and friendships are essential for me. People can be social in the streets, not homes. People should be outside to not be (not to be) alone.

 

EK NOTLAR:

everybody/everyone/everything/somebody/someone/something gibi ifadelerden sonra tekil fiil kullanılır. Örneğin everyone is/does/has/goes/

KELİME SAYISI: 324

GENEL DEĞERLENDİRME:

Gelişme paragrafların için daha net sebepler bulabilirdin. 1. ve 3. gelişme paragrafın da sosyalleşme sebebi ile ilgili. Tekrar olmuş. Daha net ve etkili örnekler vermeye çalış. Her kurduğun cümlenin paragrafa bir katkısı olsun.

Bazı fiilerde (socialize/go out), isimlerde (people/friends) ve diğer kelimelerde (social/outside/should) çok fazla tekrar yapmışsın. Kelimelerin eş anlamlılarını kullanarak fikirlerini yinelemen sınavda ölçülen bir beceridir. Ancak kelime aklınıza gelmediğinde veya kelimeyi tekrarlamak istemediğimizde fikrimizi başka yollardan anlatabilmeniz de konuşurken veya yazarken göstermeniz gereken bir dil becerisidir.

 

Using synonyms

People should do outdoor activities.

People ought to do outdoor activities.

Paraphrasing ideas

I think it is better for people to spend their free time outside.

If I were to choose how to spend my time, I would prefer it to be outdoors.

It is a good idea to pass time outside.

Leisure activities are more beneficial when they are done outside.

I would advise people to spend their time outdoors.

When it comes to where to pass free time, my suggestion would be outdoors.

PUAN: LIMITED +

TOEFL DERS NOTLARI DEĞERLENDİRME TABLOSU

 

Level

Test Rating

Scaled Score Range

GOOD

GOOD +

GOOD -

4.0-5.0

24-30

28-30

24-27

FAIR

FAIR +

FAIR -

2.5-3.5

17-23

20-23

17-19

LIMITED

LIMITED +

LIMITED -

1.0-2.0

1-16

13-16

1-12

 

 

 

 

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